Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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