Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
