He disabled his match.com account in front of me
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
