my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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