it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't put those talents on a resume
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
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