Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
i out mim tonsoeep
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
