I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
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