awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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