Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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