He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
