My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
