This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize
