i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
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