when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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