her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize