sorry about calling you the devil all night.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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