So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
