What a fucking waste of an outfit
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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