my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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