Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize