Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
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