I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Help. Why am I so naked?
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