ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
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It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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