need another drink. this is the easiest way
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
