I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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