perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
