if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
