Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize