i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
