put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
