she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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