I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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