how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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