i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
