hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
