Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
