so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
