You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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