i permit you to call me
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
