Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
