You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
