i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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