those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
