he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
