then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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