i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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