i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
