it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I want to make a zoo with you.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
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