i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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