I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
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