There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
