What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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