ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
