She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize