I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
