I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize
