Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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