In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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